I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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