Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Rumble strips road head = magical
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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