Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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