Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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