I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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