I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
