do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
