Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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