weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
