I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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