I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
