I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
