Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Damn victory sex feels great
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
