just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
