I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
