i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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