Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
