Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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