You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
