All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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