respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
