I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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