Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
