Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
