rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
