it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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