Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
