its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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