Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
