Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
