don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
