I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
