and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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