Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you had me at cake vodka
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
