I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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