Will you blow on my dice?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
