i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I intend to get homeless drunk
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
