it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
time to smoke my breakfast
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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