when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
