We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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