In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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