I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
