I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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