How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
