Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
