It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
