Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
