the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
