my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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