I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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