I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize