You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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