areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
