from now on my penis is your penis
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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