That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
