just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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