my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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