I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
