I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
