the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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