I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Green mimosas i think yes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
