ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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