i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Your cock deserves a montage
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
