Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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