I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
