You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
