I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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