My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
