I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
